So earlier tonight, I was doing whatever it is that I do when I'm on the internet for hours and lose myself in a maze of clicking. I clicked and clicked until I came across this shameful site by the name of "www.lovepanky.com". For those who have never been on it, go ahead, click. For those who have, you know that it's a bright pink, heart-filled website with a lot of content that is reliant on gender distinctions and female insecurities as the basis for its substance. Now, even though I'm a teensy-bit of a feminist and a tiny-bit annoyed by this type of literature (if you can even call it that) which promotes and therefore supports belief in, gender dichotomies, I still have insecurities (sometimes). As is such, I skimmed a few of the articles, leafing through, "How men love differently than women," "Why he takes forever to fall in love with you" and (wince) some annoying article telling me to flit my hair more if I want to capture a guy's heart (Somehow, I don't think it'll be his heart I'll be capturing, but I just don't have the heart to e-mail the author).To summarize tonight's learnings from Lovepanky in one sentence, I would say: Just act extra stupid, smile a lot and pretend you need his expertise at least once a day.
This finding caused a bit of an internal crisis for me...And here's why: I, Kristen, have a horrible habit of flitting my hair and laughing at men's jokes even when they aren't funny. I love flirting. In fact, everytime I sign-up to a new website and it asks what my hobbies and interests are, I'm tempting to write, "flirting for the hell of it," but subtlety and social norms keep me at bay. Just the other day, I met a man who seemed interested, and just for the hell of it, I found myself asking him some silly question that I already knew the answer to. Dumb charm, unfortunately, can be quite a hook for most guys. It's a terrible habit that sometimes rubs right in the face of some of my core beliefs about gender equality.
What I'm getting at is one main question for which I lack the answer: Can a flirty personality make someone a bad feminist? I'm sure there are other ways to flirt besides laughing and dumbing yourself down, but (sadly) I have yet to find anything quite as effective.