Friday, 4 January 2013
Winter for Wheelies
Being that it’s that wonderful blustery season again, I feel it appropriate to talk about all the stuff wheelies wish they could do, but can’t. Because it’s winter. And their wheelies. Here's my list. Feel free to add to it:
1. Get out the driveway.
2. Get on a bus.
3. Go to the mall. See reasons one and two
4. Go to a bar. Guess drinking alone will have to do.
5. Come back from an attempt to go outdoors without ruining the shiny nice floor and getting dirty looks from the landlord as we trek shamefully by.
6. Get out of bed. Wait, maybe this just applies to me.
7. Go anywhere without hearing the sentence, “Oh, your wheels are squeaky, eh?”
8. Not say the sentence, “That snowbank’s bigger than my body. Let’s give up.”
9. Go iceskating. Crack crack crack goes the ice.
10. Go sledding. Although most able-bodied people seem to fail at that too, with sticking their faces into snow and/or running into trees.
11. Be cool/Spontaneous. Yes, it is all winter’s fault that I’m not super fly.
There you have it. Now put on your best snow boots and ugliest snow pant suspenders, and go enjoy those oppressive snowflakes.